John Wilder: Your Limits – Are They Real? Or Can You Do More?

“A man’s got to know his limitations.” – Magnum Force

I’ve heard coffee is bad, but O.J. will kill you.

Knowing yourself is important.  There are two aspects of that that aren’t considered enough – knowing what you can do, and knowing what you can’t.  In practice, since abilities define a large part of who I am, knowing these limitations and abilities is crucial.

To start off, I have a list of things that I know I’ll never, ever, be good at.  When I was in junior high, my music teacher tried to convince me that everyone could sing.  Then he heard me and began noting that the Geneva Convention probably outlawed me singing, and also that he was wrong – some people can’t sing.  So, I’ve known since I was very young that however much I might like to sing, I will never, ever be able to.

Strike that – I can sing, I’ll just never be able to sing in a manner that other people find pleasant.

Other things are also off limits.  Basketball, for one.  I have been graced by genetics with a very powerful frame that gains muscle very easily.  My body is suited for trudging through snow, chasing priests, rowing longboats, forming a shield wall, and general pillaging.  Basketball?  If I can tackle people that might work out.  Basketball with an axe or a sword?  Even better.

Knowing what I absolutely can’t do is important.  It prevents frustration.

Are Viking Christians Bjorn again?

The next category is things I can do that are easy.  Now, many of the things that are easy for me are hard for other people.  And as I grow older, I find that things that used to be easy are becoming not so easy.  This pattern will continue, up and until a thing that used to be easy (breathing) will cease to be easy.  It will be difficult, and loud.  And hopefully someone will make the joke, “oh, Wilder’s just venting.”

But easy is still important.

Then there are the things that I can learn to do.  Taking great pictures is one, and I was working on that, trying to get the right light at the right time.  I still have a lot to learn, because the teacher kicked me out of class for indecent exposure.  All kidding aside, I’m okay at photography, but haven’t spent the time to be great at it, but I can picture getting good at it.

One time I thought I had a “long distance relationship”, but she called it a “restraining order”.

Learning is crucial.  It is the thing that can multiply capabilities, and when they’re used for something important, it can work wonders.  When those capabilities are used for nothing important, it’s the same as multiplication in the real world – it amounts to nothing.

That’s important.  Learning can make us better.  The last category is, in my opinion, where the magic happens:  things I can do, but I think I can’t do.

Like I said, this is the magic.  I had one boss who believed in me even more than I believed in me.  On more than one occasion, he said to me when he gave me a task that I thought was impossible, “Wilder, you can make this happen.”

My boss at the suicide hotline asked me to be a bit less positive.

Nine times out of ten, he was right.  So, nine times out of ten he knew and mentored me to do more than I thought I could do.  That is either the definition of a great boss or a psycho.  In this case, he was a great boss.  The downside?  He set ten impossible goals for himself before breakfasts, too.  In one of those cases, he was wrong.  As I recall, it only cost a few billion (really, not making this up) to the company.  It wasn’t fraud, mind you, he just wasn’t able to do what he thought he could do.

Obviously, he was fired.  And then he managed to make another billion dollar company and make himself several tens of millions in the process.  Even the thing he screwed up still is worth billions.

All because he didn’t allow those that he worked with to limit themselves.

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